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Every country has its own culture, and it can be embarrassing to make cultural faux pas when visiting a foreign country. In this article, I talk to you about the things not to do in France to be integrated and accepted by the French!
Contents:
1. Politeness
❌ What not to do: Be rude.
It's true that the French aren't always the most polite people, but if you want to integrate in France, it's necessary to know a few polite formulas.
✅ Things to do:
Say "bonjour" or "bonsoir" (from 5-6pm) when you enter a store or public place.
Say "au revoir, bonne journée" when you go out.
Say "s'il vous plaît" when you ask for something.
Say "merci" every time someone does you a favor.
Be polite to people you don't know (use the pronoun "vous").
2. In restaurants
❌ Things not to do:
Call the waiter "garçon." It's not accepted today, it's disrespectful! When calling the waiter at a restaurant, simply say "excuse me" while looking at him.
Being disagreeable, complaining about food or prices.
Speak loudly.
Make noise while eating.
Put your elbows on the table, eat with your fingers.
Negotiate prices.
✅ Things to do:
If you don't like the dish, it's cold or it's not what you ordered, don't get upset! Ask nicely and calmly to send the dish back to the kitchen to be reheated, for example. Most of the time, the waiter will be happy to help you.
Generally speaking, it's frowned upon to shout or speak loudly in public places. It's considered vulgar and, above all, disrespectful to the people next to you. For the same reason, avoid answering the phone at the dinner table or letting your child watch videos with sound on the phone.
Similarly, avoid making noise while eating! (Which means we avoid making noise with our mouths, or even burping 😳!).
We eat with our wrists on the table (not our elbows) and we eat with our cutlery (not our fingers!).
Pay the indicated price. The price you pay is the price displayed on the menu, even if it doesn't suit you, and it's non-negotiable! Most restaurants display their menu at the entrance, so you'll know the price before you sit down. Tipping is not compulsory in France ("un pourboire"), but you can of course leave a small amount (usually 5% of the bill) if you are satisfied with your meal and the service.
3. Conversation
In France, as in all countries, there are "taboo" subjects, topics of conversation to be avoided. In general, we avoid talking about religion and politics (conversations that can create disagreements), but also sex and money (these are delicate subjects, which can make the conversation vulgar).
These are topics we only discuss with friends or people we trust!
I recommend you listen to the episode of the podcast La Chronique on this subject:
4. Language
❌ Things not to do:
Immediately speak in your native language.
Get upset if the person doesn't understand you.
✅ Things to do:
Try to speak French even if you only know a few words. The French love their language and appreciate it when foreigners make an effort to speak it. Even if you're a beginner, try to say a few words (like polite words: bonjour, s'il vous plaît, merci, au revoir...). They'll be delighted to see you try, and will be more willing to communicate with you!
If the person in front of you doesn't understand you, don't get upset! They probably don't mean to, as many French people don't speak a foreign language (even English). Try using a translator or, if possible, ask to speak with someone else.
5. Transports
❌ Things not to do:
Force your way into the train, subway, bus...
Enter before letting other users out.
Sit in a reserved seat (disabled, elderly, pregnant women, etc.).
Speak loudly, shout on the phone, listen to music without headphones or earphones.
Cough and sneeze without putting your hand in front of your mouth.
In the car: honking for no reason and insulting other drivers
✅ Things to do:
Enter the train, metro, bus if there is room, without pushing other people.
Let other people out before getting on. This gives people who want to get off time to get out, and also gives people who want to get on space.
Leave reserved seats for people who need them, even if they remain empty. If you see an elderly person or a pregnant woman standing in public transport, you can also offer them your seat. ("Vous voulez vous asseoir ?" - Would you like to sit down?)
As in restaurants and other public places, it's best to keep your voice low. The people around you don't need to hear your conversation. The same goes for music! Other commuters may not want to hear your favorite song, or they may simply not have the same tastes as you!
If you have to cough or sneeze, remember to put your hand or elbow in front of your mouth! It's a question of respect for the people around you, who certainly don't want to get sick.
When driving, even if the person in front of you isn't moving at the speed you want, you're not allowed to honk! This rule is even written into the Highway Code: the horn can only be used in the event of imminent danger. I know that for many cultures this is hard to understand (I live in Portugal, so I know what I'm talking about 😄 ), but you can be fined if you honk for no reason.
What are the cultural mistakes to avoid in your country? 😳
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